Sunrise, sunset; it all began and ended with me. Until I opened my eyes in the morning there was no morning and the world rested at night when I laid me down to sleep. This was exactly how my world operated; as is the case with all four years olds, and it was good. More... Though I knew very little about God except the pronunciation of His name, surely I thought I must be Him. My food came when it was time to eat. My shelter was magically there as were my clothing. There were secondary beings whose purpose was to ensure that the world continued to work in this way. These beings were pleasing to me as they seemed to intuitively recognize my importance. My favorite by far was the human that I called mommy. She was the boss of the other beings apparently and we seemed to have a very strong bond. Though there were many who contributed to my ultimate comfort; she was chief among them, as she was almost always there first and with a very sincere smile.
Life was great and the world was Eden.
When I spoke all paid close attention. I had a gift for making those around me smile and laugh, which in turn caused many a smile and laugh in me.
There were those few occasions when my whims were not catered to or not promptly enough and it was in these times that I was forced to unleash my wrath upon the world. This inevitably led to my will being done almost without fail. I was happy, life was good and all was as it should be.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
THE SHORT LONG ROAD - PART TWO
It was the dawning of the Year Five an occasion also known to humans as my fifth birthday. Beings from distant lands gathered to bring offerings to me and I was indeed pleased. Most unique among my gifts was box filled with crayons, pencils and a big eraser. I was familiar with these tools of creativity and yet perplexed by the lack of paper or something to use the tools on, as was the normal custom. Further fueling my curiosity was the fact that I was instructed not to play with this gift as yet.More... “But why?” I asked.
“Because you are going to need those for school tomorrow” said my mommy.
I had never heard this word ‘school’ before and could not wrap my imagination around the concept. In response to my earnest inquiry, I was informed that I would find out tomorrow. This was to be a surprise and even though it was in absolute conflict with my impatient and demanding spirit. I was able to subdue my eager need to know right now, in lieu of the anticipation of additional surprises and pleasures. After all I had enough gifts and offerings to amuse myself for the moment.
I enjoyed the rest of the anniversary of the creation of the world, known to mortals as my birthday. There was singing in my honor. Special foods brought to me for approval and most importantly all eyes were on me. This was truly a day of days and I almost wished that everyday was as special.
“Because you are going to need those for school tomorrow” said my mommy.
I had never heard this word ‘school’ before and could not wrap my imagination around the concept. In response to my earnest inquiry, I was informed that I would find out tomorrow. This was to be a surprise and even though it was in absolute conflict with my impatient and demanding spirit. I was able to subdue my eager need to know right now, in lieu of the anticipation of additional surprises and pleasures. After all I had enough gifts and offerings to amuse myself for the moment.
I enjoyed the rest of the anniversary of the creation of the world, known to mortals as my birthday. There was singing in my honor. Special foods brought to me for approval and most importantly all eyes were on me. This was truly a day of days and I almost wished that everyday was as special.
THE SHORT LONG ROAD - PART THREE
The next day I was dressed in beautiful garb and told to grab my school box gift and prepare myself for my first day at school. I was as excited as I had ever been. I was even more so curious as my mommy took my hand and led me on a walk that was a long way away and then a little bit farther. It seemed as though we took one hundred turns and crossed rivers and climbed mountains to reach the biggest building in the world. It was big enough to fit my house inside of it many, many times. This building had a million kids outside of it talking and playing and running and screaming and laughing. This place was chaos and pandemonium! As we approached nobody stopped what they were doing to acknowledge my arrival as was the custom in my world.More... What was wrong with these strange people? Did they not know who I was? Was this not still a part of my very own world? I feared that we had left my planet and landed on the foreign soil of the planet called ‘school’ – and I did not like it. My mommy took me inside just as a loud siren screamed out an offensive sound and on cue the masses of children begin entering the building after us.
Mommy and I spoke to a female human and then another and another before we were led down a long quiet hallway toward a large door with a window on it. I was not able to see into this window, but my ears told me what my eyes surely would have: that beyond this door lay many children. Laughing, talking, playing and completely unaware of me and all my greatness.
Mommy and I spoke to a female human and then another and another before we were led down a long quiet hallway toward a large door with a window on it. I was not able to see into this window, but my ears told me what my eyes surely would have: that beyond this door lay many children. Laughing, talking, playing and completely unaware of me and all my greatness.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Small Complications - Chapter One
Unattractive and Bobby D. were not words that people used in the same sentence, and tonight was definitely not an exception to this rule. In his Ralph Lauren tuxedo; Bobby was in ‘all eyes on me’ mode tonight. Though he glowed on the outside, his inside was in utter turmoil.
“Come on man, pull it together” he told himself. “This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life.”
Bobby D. was getting married, and if you know anything about Bobby you know that everything had to be picture perfect, and it was. The Third Street Baptist Church was filled to capacity with everybody who was anybody. This was without a doubt the event of the year.
More... Bobby and his bride were a vision of loveliness as they stood before family, friends and God to declare their commitment of love. Understandably there was a little nervousness but Bobby had never experienced shaky knees before today. There was a slight perspiration shine to his face – but he blamed it on the lights. He looked over at his best man who sent a reassuring wink his way. He then looked over at his mother who was crying; he could still hear her saying that she never thought she’d see that day that somebody made an honest man out of her baby boy. Bobby was happy that his momma was proud of him. He Looked over to Brenda; his bride-to-be who was arguably the happiest person in the room. He could remember her asking time and again if he was ever going to make a ‘real’ commitment to her. Everybody was happy now. And Bobby was happy too, because he stood in a room filled with happy people.
Now Bobby turned to look at the Pastor. He could see the Holy Man’s lips moving but he couldn't hear a sound. Bobby must have momentarily slipped into a world all his own; where time and space ceased to exist. In this world there was only Bobby and his thoughts. Thoughts about his beautiful wife, their lovely one year old daughter, and how happy they all were. And how they were about to spend the rest of their lives together.
Bobby's dream world was shattered as he felt his best man nudge him. It was time to come back to reality for Bobby. It was time for him to recite his vows.
His expression painted a picture of limitless joy and he probably fooled everyone there, but he could not convince himself that this marriage was not possibly the biggest mistake he had ever made…
Stay tuned for the next episode…
“Come on man, pull it together” he told himself. “This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life.”
Bobby D. was getting married, and if you know anything about Bobby you know that everything had to be picture perfect, and it was. The Third Street Baptist Church was filled to capacity with everybody who was anybody. This was without a doubt the event of the year.
More... Bobby and his bride were a vision of loveliness as they stood before family, friends and God to declare their commitment of love. Understandably there was a little nervousness but Bobby had never experienced shaky knees before today. There was a slight perspiration shine to his face – but he blamed it on the lights. He looked over at his best man who sent a reassuring wink his way. He then looked over at his mother who was crying; he could still hear her saying that she never thought she’d see that day that somebody made an honest man out of her baby boy. Bobby was happy that his momma was proud of him. He Looked over to Brenda; his bride-to-be who was arguably the happiest person in the room. He could remember her asking time and again if he was ever going to make a ‘real’ commitment to her. Everybody was happy now. And Bobby was happy too, because he stood in a room filled with happy people.
Now Bobby turned to look at the Pastor. He could see the Holy Man’s lips moving but he couldn't hear a sound. Bobby must have momentarily slipped into a world all his own; where time and space ceased to exist. In this world there was only Bobby and his thoughts. Thoughts about his beautiful wife, their lovely one year old daughter, and how happy they all were. And how they were about to spend the rest of their lives together.
Bobby's dream world was shattered as he felt his best man nudge him. It was time to come back to reality for Bobby. It was time for him to recite his vows.
His expression painted a picture of limitless joy and he probably fooled everyone there, but he could not convince himself that this marriage was not possibly the biggest mistake he had ever made…
Stay tuned for the next episode…
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Chapter Two
"If there be anyone present who has good reason why this man and this woman should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, let him speak now or forever..."
The word 'forever' resonated in Bobby's ears. It seemed like it someone had recorded the word and played it back with an echo and reverb on it.
"Forever ever ever ever everrrrrrr."
More...He kept smiling and looking around the room at all the happy faces. Was he secretly hoping to see someone stand up and say "NO!"?
"Forever ever ever ever everrrrrrr."
He kept looking into the eyes of his lovely bride. Was he hoping that he could find a shadow of doubt in there somewhere?
"Forever ever ever ever everrrrrrr."
He looked at the pantomime Pastor whose silent lips continued to move and even without sound Bobby still knew exactly what he was saying.
"Forever ever ever ever everrrrrrr."
Bobby looked up at the portrait of God reaching out His hand to Adam on the church's ceiling. Was he hoping that God Himself would come and rescue him?
"You may kiss the bride" Bobby heard the words but somehow couldn't make the connection that the Pastor had relocated his voice and was talking to him.
"Young man." said the preacher.
"Hunh?" said Bobby, snapping out of his trance suddenly.
"Kiss your bride, you're married."
And he did just that. The crowd cheered and he let out a huge sigh of relief. He felt a thousand times better now that it was over.
The rest of the night was flawless. Everybody seemed to have such a great time. There was dancing, drinking, eating and plenty of socializing. Bobby D's wedding lived up to the build-up as the event of the year.
Before it got too late in the evening Mr. and Mrs. Bobby Dawson exited to their limo and headed for the airport for a honeymoon night to remember.
As they boarded the place for Cabo Bobby kissed his bride and told her that he loved her, she smiled at him and he smiled back.
Bobby's demons were gone.
"Maybe it was butterflys? Who knows? Who cares?" he thought to himself. "Everything was going to be perfect from here on out."
or was it?
Stay tuned for the next episode available in my upcoming book. Email me for more info
The word 'forever' resonated in Bobby's ears. It seemed like it someone had recorded the word and played it back with an echo and reverb on it.
"Forever ever ever ever everrrrrrr."
More...He kept smiling and looking around the room at all the happy faces. Was he secretly hoping to see someone stand up and say "NO!"?
"Forever ever ever ever everrrrrrr."
He kept looking into the eyes of his lovely bride. Was he hoping that he could find a shadow of doubt in there somewhere?
"Forever ever ever ever everrrrrrr."
He looked at the pantomime Pastor whose silent lips continued to move and even without sound Bobby still knew exactly what he was saying.
"Forever ever ever ever everrrrrrr."
Bobby looked up at the portrait of God reaching out His hand to Adam on the church's ceiling. Was he hoping that God Himself would come and rescue him?
"You may kiss the bride" Bobby heard the words but somehow couldn't make the connection that the Pastor had relocated his voice and was talking to him.
"Young man." said the preacher.
"Hunh?" said Bobby, snapping out of his trance suddenly.
"Kiss your bride, you're married."
And he did just that. The crowd cheered and he let out a huge sigh of relief. He felt a thousand times better now that it was over.
The rest of the night was flawless. Everybody seemed to have such a great time. There was dancing, drinking, eating and plenty of socializing. Bobby D's wedding lived up to the build-up as the event of the year.
Before it got too late in the evening Mr. and Mrs. Bobby Dawson exited to their limo and headed for the airport for a honeymoon night to remember.
As they boarded the place for Cabo Bobby kissed his bride and told her that he loved her, she smiled at him and he smiled back.
Bobby's demons were gone.
"Maybe it was butterflys? Who knows? Who cares?" he thought to himself. "Everything was going to be perfect from here on out."
or was it?
Stay tuned for the next episode available in my upcoming book. Email me for more info
Sunday, July 26, 2009
POETRY - Taking Chances...
I was hiding in a world of stone
But living within a glass house
Invisible to none but me
Screaming without a single sound
Everyone new just who I was
Though I kept on changing hats
I was searching for the missing me
But couldn’t find it with a map...More...
In the darkness of your lovely eyes
I think I finally saw the light
Explosive calm pulling me inside
And It was pointless for me to fight
You were the feast that I'd beenstarving for
The water to quench the flame
All of the love that I'd ever wanted
Without the hurts to which I was to blame
I had fallen off the cliffs of you
Into the joy of being afraid
The closer I began to get to you
The less I remembered my own name
The stone temple is no longer my God
Its been replaced with... I haven't a clue
I still don’t know who the hell I am
I only know now that I’m in love with you
I have torn apart my flesh and bone
And exposed to you my heart
Giving everything that gives me life
Bleeding to death as I do my part
I wasn’t cut out for this type of game
You won it all and got MVP
And I just lost as I just always do
Now I’m no longer here for you or me
More available in my soon to be released book. email me for more info.
But living within a glass house
Invisible to none but me
Screaming without a single sound
Everyone new just who I was
Though I kept on changing hats
I was searching for the missing me
But couldn’t find it with a map...More...
In the darkness of your lovely eyes
I think I finally saw the light
Explosive calm pulling me inside
And It was pointless for me to fight
You were the feast that I'd beenstarving for
The water to quench the flame
All of the love that I'd ever wanted
Without the hurts to which I was to blame
I had fallen off the cliffs of you
Into the joy of being afraid
The closer I began to get to you
The less I remembered my own name
The stone temple is no longer my God
Its been replaced with... I haven't a clue
I still don’t know who the hell I am
I only know now that I’m in love with you
I have torn apart my flesh and bone
And exposed to you my heart
Giving everything that gives me life
Bleeding to death as I do my part
I wasn’t cut out for this type of game
You won it all and got MVP
And I just lost as I just always do
Now I’m no longer here for you or me
More available in my soon to be released book. email me for more info.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
United We Fall - Chapter One
They were both crying.
She cried because she was hurting. He too was crying because of her pain. This wasn't the first time she had cried since she gotten the news that he was having a baby. Not that he was actually pregnant; but another woman across town was, and the baby was his. Though her tears frequently and freely fell, it did not ease her pain. Nor did talking about it, yelling or throwing things at him. Nothing helped.
More...
Her pain was like a thunderstorm. The lightning flashes blinded her until she couldn't seem to find her way. The roaring thunder deafened her to the comforting words that anyone offered her. Worst of all was the whirlwind, which tossed her around emotionally like a rag-doll. Causing her to quickly shift mental gears from anger, sadness & rage; to oddly enough happiness. She was positive that nothing could possibly be worse than this. She assured herself that she had now endured life's heaviest storm was surviving. Sadly; everytime she felt like she was finally getting through the worst of it, the cycle would begin again, starting with the hurt. She was confused. Not even sure what hurt the most. Was it the fact that he had cheated on her? Was that the fact that while he was making love to her; telling her that he loved only her, he was doing the same thing with another woman? What about the baby? She knew that this baby was going to change their lives forever. She wondered if she could endure a lifetime of contact with the baby's mother?
"That bitch! That home-wrecking whore!?" she thought to herself.
Maybe what hurt her the most was that she'd never again be able to trust her husband; no matter what he says, or could she ?
"What about our family?" she screamed."What about all the time and energy that we put into this relationship? Was everything a lie from the very beginning? I am such a damned fool !" she cried, as anger returned. "I should have known better! What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I be good enough?" Now it was sadness' turn to have its way with her.
"Why is this happening to me God? GOD !!!!!!" she yelled as if to make the Almighty stop what He was doing and take notice. As calm slowly returned she uttered in a near whisper that turned into a shrill gut-wrenching bellow:
"God, why is this happening to me? Why is this woman having a baby with MY HUSBAND!?!?!??"
stay tuned for the next episode...
She cried because she was hurting. He too was crying because of her pain. This wasn't the first time she had cried since she gotten the news that he was having a baby. Not that he was actually pregnant; but another woman across town was, and the baby was his. Though her tears frequently and freely fell, it did not ease her pain. Nor did talking about it, yelling or throwing things at him. Nothing helped.
More...
Her pain was like a thunderstorm. The lightning flashes blinded her until she couldn't seem to find her way. The roaring thunder deafened her to the comforting words that anyone offered her. Worst of all was the whirlwind, which tossed her around emotionally like a rag-doll. Causing her to quickly shift mental gears from anger, sadness & rage; to oddly enough happiness. She was positive that nothing could possibly be worse than this. She assured herself that she had now endured life's heaviest storm was surviving. Sadly; everytime she felt like she was finally getting through the worst of it, the cycle would begin again, starting with the hurt. She was confused. Not even sure what hurt the most. Was it the fact that he had cheated on her? Was that the fact that while he was making love to her; telling her that he loved only her, he was doing the same thing with another woman? What about the baby? She knew that this baby was going to change their lives forever. She wondered if she could endure a lifetime of contact with the baby's mother?
"That bitch! That home-wrecking whore!?" she thought to herself.
Maybe what hurt her the most was that she'd never again be able to trust her husband; no matter what he says, or could she ?
"What about our family?" she screamed."What about all the time and energy that we put into this relationship? Was everything a lie from the very beginning? I am such a damned fool !" she cried, as anger returned. "I should have known better! What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I be good enough?" Now it was sadness' turn to have its way with her.
"Why is this happening to me God? GOD !!!!!!" she yelled as if to make the Almighty stop what He was doing and take notice. As calm slowly returned she uttered in a near whisper that turned into a shrill gut-wrenching bellow:
"God, why is this happening to me? Why is this woman having a baby with MY HUSBAND!?!?!??"
stay tuned for the next episode...
Chapter Two
Still they cried. Though he tried and tried, he could not love her hurt away.
"Please baby..." he pleaded. He knew that this was likely just another wasted effort, but he had to try. His previous attempts at comforting her either fell on deaf ears or only aggravated her further. In an act of desperation he got up from his chair and took what had to be the longest four step journey in the history of mankind. He walked across the room and reached out his hand. He tried to put his arms around her.
More...
Her sobs and whimpering masked the sounds of his footsteps. Her lowered head never saw him coming. She jerked away from him the instant he touched her, As if she had received a sudden electrical shock.
"Don't you touch me." she said, in a calm, steady voice. Their eyes met and locked. He had never seen such a look on her face before. He looked away quickly. He had the craziest feeling, that she could look into his soul and see the guilt and sin in his heart.
"Don't you ever touch me again !" she demanded, sounding more like a growling animal than the woman that he'd shared the past several years with.
"But baby please..." was his lame plea. He was wearing his best 'Baby I'm sorry, don't you still love me' expression. But she was now the 'immovable object' and he was no longer the 'irresistible force'.
"Fine!" he said, attitude quickly changing.
"Forget it all then! I'm trying my hardest to convince you that I'm sorry and you just treat me like I'm a dog!" His voice grew louder.
"You want me to kiss your ass don't you? That's it, isn't it baby? Well I'm not going to kiss your ass and I'm not your dog!" It was he who was yelling now.
"So is this what you really want baby? Do you want us to just be over and done?"
(The master chess player pondered his next move for only a moment...)
"After all that we've been through, all that we have built." he continued.
(He moved his piece into position.)
"The hell with the kids. The hell with everything!" he exclaimed.
(Check)
"Are YOU going to just throw it all away?"
(Checkmate.)
“Get out !” she screamed.
She was crying once again.
stay tuned for the next episode... available in my soon to be released book. Email me for more info
"Please baby..." he pleaded. He knew that this was likely just another wasted effort, but he had to try. His previous attempts at comforting her either fell on deaf ears or only aggravated her further. In an act of desperation he got up from his chair and took what had to be the longest four step journey in the history of mankind. He walked across the room and reached out his hand. He tried to put his arms around her.
More...
Her sobs and whimpering masked the sounds of his footsteps. Her lowered head never saw him coming. She jerked away from him the instant he touched her, As if she had received a sudden electrical shock.
"Don't you touch me." she said, in a calm, steady voice. Their eyes met and locked. He had never seen such a look on her face before. He looked away quickly. He had the craziest feeling, that she could look into his soul and see the guilt and sin in his heart.
"Don't you ever touch me again !" she demanded, sounding more like a growling animal than the woman that he'd shared the past several years with.
"But baby please..." was his lame plea. He was wearing his best 'Baby I'm sorry, don't you still love me' expression. But she was now the 'immovable object' and he was no longer the 'irresistible force'.
"Fine!" he said, attitude quickly changing.
"Forget it all then! I'm trying my hardest to convince you that I'm sorry and you just treat me like I'm a dog!" His voice grew louder.
"You want me to kiss your ass don't you? That's it, isn't it baby? Well I'm not going to kiss your ass and I'm not your dog!" It was he who was yelling now.
"So is this what you really want baby? Do you want us to just be over and done?"
(The master chess player pondered his next move for only a moment...)
"After all that we've been through, all that we have built." he continued.
(He moved his piece into position.)
"The hell with the kids. The hell with everything!" he exclaimed.
(Check)
"Are YOU going to just throw it all away?"
(Checkmate.)
“Get out !” she screamed.
She was crying once again.
stay tuned for the next episode... available in my soon to be released book. Email me for more info
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